Article published: March 3rd, 2014
Ever thought it was OK being just the “best of the best” but secretly dreamed of being “the best of the best of the best of the best”? Well now that dream can become reality when you and your fellow stag comrades enlist at the legendary “Sniper School”.
OK, so when we say “enlist” there’s no forced head shaving or drill instructors screaming at you to hit the deck (although this could probably be arranged for an additional fee) but if your idea of a grand day out is rocking up at a country estate and getting your hands on some shooters then this is the experience for you.
At this point we must point out this isn’t by any means exclusively a stag focused event. Yes, it does seem to be more popular with blokes but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be enjoyed by hens too. Indeed, we hate all this gender stereotyping with a passion. So ladies, this is unquestionably for you (although you might want to hold fire and wait for our eagerly awaited “Knitting School”).
Our Sniper School event has all the qualities of an epic battle between good and evil, life and death, and then you get to butcher some fresh kill and feast on its bloody gore (once cooked of course).
The itinerary, or as you’ll call it with your new found special forces skills “the mission” will play out thus.
1. Arrive, drink coffee, adopt a stern square jawed serious pose as though the security and stability of western civilisation will rely solely upon your actions over the next few hours, camo up, and head off to the range. (Obviously ladies you need not adopt the square jawed pose, possibly you could adopt the “justifiably outraged pose” of one who has had to endure the “Knitting School” banter, or even the “sweetness and light until I get given a loaded weapon and can then track down and deliver swift bloody justice to the perpetrator of that so called humour” pose.)
2. Next you’ll be taught how to build a sniper hide from whatever natural materials are available. Here’s a skill that you can take with you through the rest of your life –after all who knows when you might want to lurk in some bushes undetected?
3. Finally, you’ll get your hands on a .22” rifle with telescopic sights, sound moderators and bipods and you can blast the hell (in a suitably stealthy manner) out of a variety of targets from 30 metres out to 100 metres. Each participant (or as we say in the trade “shooter”) will get at least forty shots.
4. Now you are awash with killing frenzy it’s time to eat. You’ll need to light the fire yourselves (without the ability to call in a napalm strike) and then depending on the season butcher some fresh fish, pheasants, rabbits or pigeons. The more squeamish can be excused this task to collect firewood, watch with horrified expressions from a distance, or simply stand around glumly wishing they’d signed up instead to “Knitting School”.
So there you have it. Sniper School. Enlist here today.